Run away... Disappear... And Forget...

I feel like running away today...

To disappear into the mists of time... To disappear into a lonely sunset, on some distant shore...

I feel like forgetting who I am... Forgetting and rebuilding myself...



And I don't know why...




I stopped writing sometime back when I realised that I'd almost completely given up writing about nice things. I don't know why I did that, don't know what I hope to accomplish with this stunted restart... Stunted because even though I'm writing again today, I don't seem to have changed any! I still don't seem to have anything pleasant to write about!

There are days when I dream of standing on some foreign shore, looking out into the sunset, then going back to my studio apartment in my condo and relaxing to some soothing violin...

And then there other days when I see myself dressed casual, standing at the keel of a yacht with a canvas in front of me enticing me to unleash something creative...

But somehow I still don't think I'm ever going to see myself there in real life... And I'm unable to understand why I seem so certain after that fact...

It seems a lot like I don't have anything more to look forward to in life... and I have to wonder as to why that is... And for some reason I seem scared to know that answer...

I just want it all to be over! Dunno what..! Dunno why!! And definitely don't think I need to know...!!!