Of Life....... Craziness....... And Loneliness.......

A couple of days ago I got tired of life as it was, and decided to make some changes. One thing led to another and I ended up doing quite a few crazy things.

For a long time now I'd been contemplating shutting down my Orkut profile and taking this blog of mine off the air, last week I finally took the Orkut profile off air and set up a new one at a new address. The blog faced a slightly lenient treatment though... It just shifted base. Though I've given different reasons to different people for this bout of craziness, the actual reason has been, and is, my need to find out how many of my 170 friends and 57 odd fans there actually noticed this deletion.

A friend of mine tried very hard to convince me not to delete me Orkut profile, she tried her very best to make me see some sense, but alas her arguments didn't prove strong enough to deter me from my intentions. She told me that my decision was very stupid. And, that I'd come to regret it overtime. Today, just two to three days after having taken the momentous step regret seems to gnawing at me deeply...... Though not for the same reasons she predicted. Over the past couple of years I've grown quite fond of one of my ids , this is the same e-mail address that I use to subscribe to any and every service I use, it used to be the address which hosted my original Orkut Profile. The reason behind my pangs of regret is the fact that I can no longer depend on the convenience of just signing into one account to handle all my correspondence.

Earlier the plan was to move back to the my old id after a couple a months, but it looks like I'm gonna end up doing it sooner rather later..... For all I know, probably in the week to come...... Talk about weird!!!!

This past week has also lead me to realise that it is a folly, wanting to believe that other people will actually want to find some time in their life for me, I mean why should they? In today's social environment people don't really seem to have any time to relate with people at a personal level, it all ends up being more or less superficial. It is highly unlikely for a friend, or even a family member to call another just to catch up, there always seems to be an ulterior motive for such interactions. Inadvertently making it very difficult for people to connect. Hence, a feeling of stifling loneliness seems to be overshadowing my every step.

The mood of the moment seems to have me believing that behind ever bright Morning lies a darker and longer Night. And, has as usual left me reminiscing the lighter moments of my life, in the shadow of far darker visions......